Well, thanks to my dear friend P Roo, who knows how to manipulate me into doing what's best for myself more than most people, I am back at the blogging. I've tried multiple times over the last nine years to do this with any sort of regularity (even irregularity can still in some ways be regular...but generally I can't even muster up that much consistency). Blogging to me is much like trying to lose weight, eat right, keep in touch with people from far away, etc. I'll be really good at it for, like, a week. And then a year later I realize that I dropped the ball...and I'll decide to try again. This is why good ol' Benji Franklin (among others) would say that I'm insane/crazy/loca/folle whathaveyou. I'm great at trying things again and again and expecting that they will somehow turn out better, or at least different.
Despite my reluctance, I'm feeling a twinge of excitement at starting up again. Your guess is as good as mine as to whether or not this is the time that it will actually stick. Do you like the way that I absolve myself of all responsibility, like I don't actually have a choice in the matter? I'm really good at that, as you'll see in subsequent posts. Most of the time I wish I didn't believe in free will so that destiny could just make all of my decisions for me and force me to fill my proper role in this world. Wouldn't that be nice?
Of course, this desire to take a backseat in the decision-making of my own life may stem from my current situation. Post-undergrad (semi-recent—Dec. 2008—though long enough ago to have to stop making the "I'm still adjusting" excuse), pre-grad school and career, early-to-mid 20s (in 15 days I will be 24!), and not a clue what the next step will be. Travel? Peace Corps? Working in the non-profit world? Coaching volleyball for the rest of my life? Writing a book? I am everywhere, and I am nowhere. All options are open.
Which brings be back to the excitement aspect of blogging again, and actually, of my life in general. You'll find that I switch off and on like electricity in west Africa; one moment I feel dried out, void of energy and inspiration (these are they days when I sleep 12 hours, wake up to eat, watch TV, and return to bed to nap). The next I feel motivated, driven, ready to grab the world by the horns...as it were (these are the days when I sleep 12 hours, wake up to eat, watch TV, and return to bed to nap, but feel really good about it).
I hope that through writing regularly again I can find some insight into myself and life in general. I hope that I can start to realize what makes me really happy, and that I can muster up the will power to follow through with those things. Regardless, this blog should serve as a (hopefully humorous) chronology of my efforts...and with any luck, will help me grow and learn and laugh. Which is, at the end of any day, what I hope I am always able to do.
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